I Can Enjoy My Own Company and Still Want Hers

I like living alone. I like having my own space, making my own decisions, and spending my time without having to negotiate what I’m doing with it. There’s a peace in that which I’m reluctant to give up. I also want a woman’s company. Her affection, her conversation, her touch. Someone I’m attracted to who is pleased to be with me. Both things are true, which apparently makes explaining what I want more complicated than it ought to be. When I say I enjoy being alone, I don’t mean I’ve stopped wanting anyone. When I say I want companionship, I don’t mean I’m looking for someone to move in. I want closeness. I want room to myself. The difficulty is finding a connection where those wishes can comfortably exist together. The space matters to meAfter being married and divorced, having a life I can arrange for myself means something. I’m protective of it. I don’t want another marriage. I don’t want to share a home. I want to remain responsible for my own life and have the freedom to decide…