the paladin paradigm

trigger warning: mentions of self-harm, suicidal ideation i need to make it a habit to blog immediately after each therapy session, to share about how it went and what i learned. normally, i'd stay after-session at the 24-hour mcdonald's across my therapist's office and journal. but i haven't written down anything for probably a month now, and i have no idea when that's going to change. so for the mean time, here we are. before we get to the main event, may i just quickly complain about the cursed ride that i had on my way. my therapist's office is around 10 km away from home, which in manila terms should be around 2 hours of travel. the ride that i booked took the worst possible route (i'm not saying it's the driver's fault, it could be waze's), and when he tried to circumvent, we got stuck in traffic right behind three concrete mixers, got rained on for a while, and had to stop for gas twice. i was a little stressed out when i (barely on time) reached the office1 which made me more…