Loyal to the absent

One ideal I’ve found hard to live up to: being consistently loyal to people who aren’t in the room. So much of what we talk about is our reaction to other people, because so much of our life is shaped by them. Here’s an alternate ideal I’ve found helpful to aim for. With the people you work with regularly, or care about, be someone they know will tell them directly when there’s a problem. So, you never let things fester. That way, when you do end up talking about them behind their back (and you likely will), the conversation stays focused on getting to the root of the problem.