An Argument for Vastly Many Observers Smaller than a Proton

Here's an argument that I'm sure will give my philosopher of physics collaborator Jacob Barandes the fits. The conclusion will be that there are vastly many complex structures smaller than a proton, right here in our region of spacetime, populated by vastly many scientific and philosophical observers. Look at that drop of water running from the faucet to the drain. Within it are many tiny people, living many tiny lives. [Cancer can go hang. I'll keeping fly my weird philosophical speculations on this blog as long as I can. Naturally, I'm hoping to land in the long statistical tail, so that the field won't be rid of me anytime soon.] Assumption 1: The universe is infinite. The observable portion of the universe, of course, is not infinite. It extends a only minuscule 46 billion light-years in every direction from us. But there's no reason to think the universe ends exactly at the observational horizon, with us at the center! How inelegant and un-Copernican that would be. An infinite…