honesty, then a little joy

for the most part of two years, now, i have posted something here every day, barring a few intentional breaks on account of intentional digital detox, and usually followed by some larger piece borne of that time away. recently, however, gaps have emerged. i will tell you: these breaks in posting here reflect my disengagement with much else in my life, too. all that happens and no longer happens when hopelessness overcomes all will to act. perhaps this is ultimately appropriate, if i consider this space to be an artefact i am building as an expression of my life. i keep chewing, recently, on this truth: the problem is that i am me. but i was me when i was happy, too. and i have been happy, sometimes. and i want to be happy. i am trying. i am really trying. in that spirit, and in the spirit of Fran's Joyrides, i wanted to list some of the joy-apposite things in my life right now: the laugh i got when i finally reached the line "do i look like a bleeding atmosphere?" in Zoe Skoulding's…