Hand with a rising thumb!

Started playing open mic nights again. Really love the one at the jig and real in particular. Though I keep screwing up with the finesse of my ability to socialize and embarrassed myself pretty bad last time. First, a few weeks ago had a performance that went particularly well. And felt pressure to perform well this last time. I did ok but kind of phoned it in. I said an awkward joke which I think was aimed at myself… where at the end of the of the performance I said “you are about to watch this overweight white boy power walk off the stage”. Which I think was a joke about how I cussed at the audience almost twenty years ago and got kicked out of an open mic night. I apologiesed after I said it like twenty times but still felt so bad I sat quietly for the whole night trying not to make it worse. I don’t know if I succeeded in not making it worse but I am sorry. I am struggling with socializing with people I don’t know very well yet. And having a hard time with the talking on a regular…