All I really needed to know (to play RPGs) I learned in Kindergarten

The past three Saturdays I have run a fantasy adventure game for five rambunctious kids, ages 9 to 11, one of whom is my son (aka, the Ringleader). Now I hear there is a player advice blogwagon, and I took over this ongoing 5e game with three basic ground rules for my young players:Be kind to all.Try not to talk over each other, or me. Share the spotlight.To which was quickly added a fourth rule (after Someone (hereafter, the Grandstander) decided to argue with me over the price of a room in Greyhawk by looking it up in the 2024 DMG).Do not look up anything in rulebooks unless the DM asks to you to do so. Followed five minutes later by our fifth (hopefully last?) rule: 5. No PVP.Running a complicated game like 5e for five kids is challenging. This group is something else. We have:the Ringleader (always starting shit with other players), the Grandstander (always wants to talk, NOW), the Walking Chaos Monkey (their character sheet is a rolled club to hit the world with)The Sitting Chaos…