slowing down

This morning after the usual reflection and waffling I found myself heading out. Away from the house. The two puppies of chaos love to see me and hate me to go. The writing always swirls around me when I reach Coffee Bean. It’s also Monday and I get some money today from social security. Other places could be difficult either way what I get but honestly I get more than most. With the latest cost of living bump I will almost make $3k a month. Sounds like only a little but consider our rent is $220. Food is about $800 a month. It leaves us with money to go as we want. But we don’t. We just don’t go. This is not slowing down because of reasons. It’s stopping. It hurts because I have never wanted to just sit in Cambodia. It’s not a good fit. I start having issues inside. It’s not just the destination or some wonderful end. It’s the going. I need to feel between places. Now I feel between home and coffee. So life slows down to me. It leaves me sitting with those puppies and they won’t take…