Ocean Spray Paint

Last month I observed that “it seems only a matter of time before Trump ‘renames’ either the Pacific or the Atlantic as the American Ocean, or as the West American and East American Oceans respectively.” I would say “I joked”, but I wasn’t really joking. I knew it. “We have a gulf and we have a lake,” Trump, 80, told reporters in the Oval Office. “Now all we need is an ocean. Maybe we’ll have to change the name of the Atlantic and/or the Pacific. Maybe we’ll change them both.” I missed that comment at the end of August—so much drivel, so little time—but he’s been repeating it in rallies lately: “Before I get out, I think we should have an ocean,” Trump said. “We call it ‘Trump Ocean’ or ‘Ocean of the Americas,’ something like that.” Expect the presidential decree before the year is out.