18 October 2026

Note to self. BPPV is an unnecessary addition to the flu. It feels like your eyeballs are rioting. I googled for videos of nystagmus but actually, I can’t even look at them without feeling worse. You can look for your own ones. All the rooms, the houses, the streets are unnaturally quiet around 3am. By 4am the house is whispering, walls shift and yawn. Lying in the dark, ears strain with the listening. It’s easy to write in the darkness and all of it is brilliant, of but in daylight it’s also impossible to remember and not brilliant at all. Written in the air, mercifully lost to the night. The work trip away was as expected, but returning with two weeks’ worth of flu was not. I can’t remember when I last felt this crap and for so long, although it was probably the last time I got Covid. I tested: not covid. Good habits are hard won and easily lost. Three weeks of no walking and now it’s dark in the morning. Did I miss the sweet chestnuts? I checked the stats for this website. Repeat…