The Queue for the Bayeux Tapestry

1st July / 3.30PM I’m sat in a cemetary park in Brussels praying for good 5G. I joined the digital ticket queue at 10AM, as soon as I came out the Eurostar terminal. Tens of thousands of punters in e-front of me, est queueing time UNKNOWN. Now it’s five hours later and the queue robot’s emailing me to say it’s my turn to hand over the cash. Ha ha ha ha, this is quite funny. Easier to get Beyonce tickets, isn’t it. 3rd October / 7PM I am leading my Mum through Bloomsbury at a clip. We duck down a side road and head through a white gazebo where security guards shine torchlights into our handbags. We linger in the British Museum’s life and death room, staring up at the back of an Easter Island head. At the exact ticket time, 10 past 7PM, we join a queue to scan our tickets. We are allowed to pass through into a lobby where there is a second queue that folds back and forth across the whole room. At the front, a man is counting out groups of 10 people at a time and letting them into a…