sadness

There are many among us who aren't nearly as clever, smart, driven (hence accomplished) as the best of us. I long ago recognized that I was in the camp of the former. Long ago. ::chuckle:: As such, I've largely worked and existed within my limitations, to the best of how I'm capable. And even with that, haven't accomplished things in the usual ways that signify success in one's endeavors, in the arc of one's given lifespan. This has not troubled me greatly — though perhaps that might indeed be part of the problem, if by 'accomplishment' one means that a person has to genuinely rage against the dim, undistinguished light of their mediocrity. Once in a rare while, I do things that make someone look up, look in, and appreciate the doing. Which I in turn appreciate; but my default tendency has always been along the lines of "...sorry, don't look here, nothing special is going on, don't waste your time, which is better spent elsewhere." Much of that is genuine low self-regard, some of it…