You already had them

You turned down a role with a better title and more money. You decided that your weekends were protected, and the laptop does not come home. You were angrier than the situation deserved when somebody else took credit for your work.These are not three separate events. They are one thing showing up three times.You did not weigh any of them up from scratch. Something decided them for you, and it has been doing that for years.The pattern was running before you named itValues aren't found. They are recognised. You have been operating on a consistent set of priorities for years, and what is often missing is the name, not the behaviour.That's why writing them down can feel like they came out of the blue.The surprise is recognition. New information about something you have always done.When I did my values work with a coach for the first time, I was surprised to see fairness sitting so high. I had never thought of myself as a champion of justice. My coach asked me to play back some recent…