Pregnancy week 21

Current stage of pregnancy: week 21 GA; week 19 FA; 30 (!) cigarettes since the beginning of pregnancy. Last cigarette was 29 days ago. I can't believe we're hitting the 21 weeks mark. I started feeling kicks in my lower abdomen a few days ago, I feel so relieved. Now it feels real, real. The kicks and flutters happen usually in the evening but I'm getting more and more during the day too. I was surprised at how low it was, I thought I should feel my first kicks around the belly button but the baby kicks near the pelvic bones. I've seen images of micro-preemies born at 21 weeks, I can't believe that if I happened to deliver today my baby would have a tiny chance of survival. I'm grateful its comfy in the womb though. I've seen a couple friends this week, but somehow I feel lonelier, even though I literally have another person inside of me and I spend a lot of quality time with my husband. Maybe I'm still processing the shitshow of my pregancy announcement to my parents. I wonder how…