On being overwhelmed (and letting myself feel)

I felt I lost my vibe with blogging by the end of September. I felt disheartened. I could see that sadness and restlessness weighed me down, but that didn’t help much. I reflected on what happened in the past with these feelings. Every time, no fail, I quit my blog and started all over again, because the weight was just too much. I thought to myself, “What if I just start another blog without nuking my current one?” A week and a bit after that thought, I’m back here, posting as usual. I’ve realised two things: it’s good to have an alternative, to just write whatever. I don’t need the nuclear options anymore. My work isn’t lost in the meantime either, I can always add posts back on my main blog when I feel more like myself again. Back when I was in therapy, my therapist shared something that’s been with me ever since. I’m going to paraphrase: You should not see emotions as permanent, or things that you drag with you. If it helps, use a lake as an analogy. Sometimes the lake is violent,…