The 3AM Internet Hall Monitors

There’s a special breed of internet weirdo who spends so much time staring at a screen that their brain has completely turned to mush. To them, the entire world is on fire 24x7. There is no middle ground, no nuance, and no sense of proportion whatsoever. Someone having an annoying opinion on a blog isn't just someone being a bit of a twat; it’s an existential crisis that requires a boycott, a campaign website, and multiple days of frantic keyboard warrior activism. Everything is connected in their heads. If bloke A writes a line of code they don't like, and company B hosts it, then company B is pure evil, and anyone who uses company B is a Nazi bastard by proxy. And god forbid you don’t care. If you shrug your shoulders and go, "Mate, it's just a website," they lose their minds. Suddenly you're part of the problem. You get an 800 word guilt trip landing in your inbox at three in the morning from people who genuinely think they're standing on the frontlines of history because they made…