on being jane doe

%% this post references sexual violence and its effects extensively. %% / a lot of men seem to perceive rape, and the threat of it, like getting punched in the face. just as every woman i know has a story of sexual violence being done to her, every man i know has a story about a fist fight with a bully or a stepfather or a stranger in a bar. and i think they see these things as comparable: a gendered rite of passage that, while memorably terrible, is rarely deadly, and, well, there are plenty of things you can say or do to instigate a fight – you might even go looking for one. as if it is a momentary discomfort, a learning experience, a consequence, possibly catharsis. their lives don’t turn upside down from a little fisticuffs, so why should yours after being forced into something you usually enjoy anyway? / generally in cases of rape, there is a physical entering of someone’s body. people are shot dead for entering a house without the occupants’ permission. whether they are…