Internal weather

There are stretches when, for a mix of reasons, I notice myself operating from a place of confidence. And there are stretches when I’m walking around with a knot in my stomach, tuned into everything that could go wrong. Over time I’ve noticed these states are never caused by one thing. It’s always a confluence, some of it in my control, most of it not. An unexpected argument, a couple of customers having a bad week, and suddenly I’m in a more nervous place. I used to think the useful move was figuring out the cause and trying to shift the state. I don’t think that anymore. What’s actually useful is noticing the state I’m in and using it for what it’s naturally good at. Confidence is a good window for taking on something new, something that feels a little risky. Nervousness is a good window for exactly the opposite: running premortems, getting paranoid about the right things, going after the projects that are quietly worrying me. I can’t always line up my work with the state I’m in.…