TW:(depression) Its been a long Week

This is gonna be the most personal post I have ever written. These past two weeks have been the month of Elul,with the Jewish High Holidays. Due to the cult I grew up in I have extreme anxiety panic attacks and nightmares during this month. Sunday night Monday were Yom Kippur so I got my typical panic attack and nightmares yay(would be cool if hyperventilating for an hr wasnt such a given , ha). Anyways today was mostly good but I have been in higher fight or flight mode than typical. Anyways our move has brought extreme grief from Honey and I feel like my body was mourning her. And now I am mourning her! Posts from Jedda about Cocoa have been helping me slowly proccess https://notes.jeddacp.com/cocoa/ . I struggle with dealing with Honey and her talking about Cocoa really makes me grok a bit better how I am feeling with Honey. Jedda I am so so sorry for your loss, but I have to thank you for helping me proccess a bit. Today was a very devent day . Even did a Decaf cupping from…