Square one

Emotionally, I feel like I have been put in a metal barrel and rolled down a hill. I feel like my identity, thoughts, and emotions have all become untrustworthy, leaving me no guidance on what feelings to trust or what to do. I feel very literally like I have lost my mind; I don’t know which fragments are the healthy seed crystals to begin reconstituting an identity from and which are toxic waste that need to be expelled or wrapped in an unreactive layer to advance that rebuilding process. I feel like just being so distressed is costing me my only hope at a future, but there is also no way out of these omni-crises without expressing these feelings somehow.