thankful for the little things

So I've been kind of numbed out lately. Mostly unconscious, living in my head type nonsense, but some of it has been intentional because the 'going back to work' of it all has poked a few holes in my calm and cool exterior. I haven't blown a gasket, but Nan has been pretty pissed under the surface. I'm still enjoying myself, but some people need to get it together, with love. But other than those few moments of rage, it's been mostly numbness and that's always just so lovely. I love that so much. It's so great. Ha. yeah. So much so that when other emotions pop out, it feels really really weird. My laughter feels so much more abrupt and drastic and loud, and my tears feel overwhelming at times. I'm thankful for them. Thankful that they're ready to exist at all. But it's like I'm breaking through a layer of ice or dust every time I express them and it just feels weird. It's like my brain has to wake up and be like 'oh how do I do this again? right.' I'm relearning how to laugh and cry…