A Sweary Paean To Autumn, Told in Bluesky Form

It went a little something like this. FUCK YES IT'S A GODDAMN DECORATIVE GOURD MOTHERFUCKERS— John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-09-20T18:25:31.829Z YEAH AND YOU BEST BELIEVE WE GOT SOME MOTHERFUCKING MUMS TO GO ALONG WITH THAT GOURD DO YOU THINK WE'RE FUCKING TOURISTS WITH THIS SHIT, NO SON WE'VE GOT ALL THIS FUCKING WIRED— John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-09-20T18:31:05.250Z OH FUCK YES WE'RE ALL AUTUMNAL IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER YOU BEST BELIEVE SHIT'S GETTING SWEATER WEATHER AS FUCK LOOK WE DID NOT CHOOSE THE GOURD LIFE THE GOURD LIFE CHOSE US NOW GET FUCKING COZY OR GET THE FUCK OUT— John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-09-20T18:40:42.418Z HOLY SHIT Y'ALL A MOTHERFUCKING BLACK CAT HAS JUST INTRODUCED HIS VOIDTASTIC GODDAMN SELF INTO THIS GOURD AND MUM FESTIVAL OF MOTHERFUCKERY WE HAVE GONE FULL FUCKING AUTUMN NOW GO GRAB A MUG OF SOMETHING WITH NUTMEG AND MOTHERFUCKING CINNAMON CAUSE THERE'S NO GOING BACK NOW— John Scalzi (@scalzi.com) 2026-09-20T21:42:50.226Z And if you’re thinking, “this is…