an ode to grief-walkers

it's spreading it started in june i thought i was immune at last as i had seen so many of my friends go through it this year i thought i had perfected a way to exist in a way that detached my soul from the possibility of feeling good and bad but disassociation, detachment, disregard for oneself catch up to existence it's spreading i think that's what depression is a schism between the the realised and the unrealised the soul trying to jump between the two it spreads until every action is a representation of this gap i'm sitting in a cinema about to watch 2001: a space odyssey for the first time i am with friends i'm making them all laugh also asking about how they are all doing learning about their lives i see other cinemagoers i see their smiles their friend groups smiling couples younger people so much life ahead of them grief finds itself in any small way just seeing two people smiling and enjoying themselves reminds me of what i will never be because i picture them perfectly…