By Arrangement

Once upon a time in grad school, I met a fellow from Central Asia. He was soon to return home and marry a woman he’d met on three heavily chaperoned occasions. This struck me as odd, so I asked him how that arranged marriage business works. He dealt with my curiosity and ignorance kindly. “My whole family, for years, has been searching for the right wife for me. Her whole family, for years, has been searching for the right husband for her. All of them will help us make a success of our relationship because they all contributed to our decision to marry. Bear in mind, if I disappoint my wife, she has only to say a few words, and we are divorced. I am then obligated to support her for the rest of her life, so I am pretty motivated to keep her happy. Also, this will be my only chance for marriage, and probably her only chance. We know that. We are lonely, so we will try our best.” “You Americans… you make this big, huge decision all on your own, and it often ends so sadly. I would never…