Therapy is like dating: how to know if it's working

If you have an injury or feel very ill most people don't bother thinking which specific hospital to visit or what doctor to see. The broad assumption is that an M.D. is an M.D., they are all well trained to deal with most sickness, so you just go to whatever seems more convenient. A small minority of people may go deeper than this and pick specific doctors or hospitals based on word of mouth, but this seems like a less common experience. For people looking for a romantic partner, it is extremely uncommon that the first person they ever feel attraction towards ends up being their long term person. We understand that there is deeper match between the two people that is required, a certain je ne sais quoi to be present, and so one does not date "off the rack" as one does when picking doctors, rather one tries to understand oneself (what do I want, what do I offer) and the situation of dating. There's such a thing as "being good at dating and finding a partner". There is endless advice…