thirty years

i move mountains in my mind.i wake up,the world hasn’t caught up.i can’t adjust for a minute, can’t go back to sleep.can’t come up with words to describe what i’m feeling… alright, a mistake happened. i move on. no more changing the world.hard work is for those with both the mind and the mouth. i look in the mirror.i like the girl i see.not the best i’ve seen, but i like her enoughto take her out on a stroll in lace,her lips red, maybe brush past a hand or two. it’s a world deep as the sea.can’t really find a pebble?a mermaid’s tear is… i don’t ask for that.a pearl is luck. i’ve never met one.a diamond… okay.i’ll stick with a pebble. alright, nothing. a shell.and not a good one to look at.can’t really tell if it belongs to the sea,and it scratches when i touch. i don’t move on.i can’t. i can’t try out another path.this has already taken me thirty years.