becoming the someone

I’m gassed. Not as bad as this morning but I am tired. Not only am I tired I am also lonely. This pile of to do’s and don’ts wouldn’t be so daunting if I had someone to share it with. I guess I do. I have friends I could reach out to. Family too. But I don’t want them. I want a someone. A someone who tells me it’s going to be alright. A someone who is warm and kind and laughs at my jokes and I at theirs. A someone who is there. A someone who I can hug. A someone I can cry in front of. A someone I can let know how overwhelming it all feels. A someone who won’t run. Who won’t look at me different. A someone who doesn’t flinch at the sight of me; the real me. The me that whines, that’s messy, that’s annoying and annoyed. The one who doesn’t listen, the one who is distracted and distracting, the one who tries and fails. The one who embarrasses himself. The one who shows weakness. The one who I can be weak in front of. Someone who can take watch while I rest. I’m looking for that someone.…