Money Quotes: September 2026 Edition

[“Kaivoin apinan raivolla maata”] Let’s look at some Money Quotes, the best in ridiculous quotes from the news. First off, in South Boston, we have a a true and confirmed scofflaw: [O]fficers spoke to the victim who stated an unknown male entered the store and took a coffee and a snack without paying for them. ​The victim stated the suspect has done this on several occasions​, ​​demonstrating a complete disregard for ​potential consequences. Honestly, if criminals had any regard for potential consequences, they probably wouldn’t be out there criming. Also in lousy criminals, we have a Florida man, because of course we do: A woman who was inside the HomeGoods at the time of the incident told officers that she saw Thomas enter the store, walk into the aisle where she was standing, and say, “I’m sorry, I have to do this,” CCPD said. The woman said Thomas then dropped his pants, exposing himself. That’s obviously awful. I guess it’s at least something that he pre-apologized? No, no, it’s…