A taxonomy of toddler jokes

So there we were, on the deck of a nice restaurant with a view of the mountains and a valley with a river flowing through it, and a menu Google had described as “elevated.” Then, out of nowhere, a tiger appeared. It prowled the deck, brandishing its claws at a bachelorette party sitting next to us. As it stalked the bride, we saw with horror that its jaws were dripping with blood — or was that … ketchup? No! Will! we cried, scrambling across the deck and attempting to grab the tiger by his ankles. RAAAAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! he growled, twisting free and creeping toward the bride-to-be. Will, stop! I pleaded. He looked back at me, grinning, then sprang forward, coming within inches of mawling her cream-colored dress before I could grab him and football-carry him back to his booster seat. In comedy this is called escalation — taking an initial premise and making it progressively bigger, weirder, more outrageous. It is also an apt description of parenting a toddler, and the remarkable rate…