How I broke through fear today

I realised something when I woke up in a panic last night about my hospital visit today (update: the results were perfect): fear only works in absolutes. You either die right away of the disease or you live. Fear doesn’t do in between, and boy, it’s good at doom scenarios. Every time I walk out of the hospital after my quarterly visits I decide not to let my anxieties take over for the next visit in three months. Every time, it sneaks up on me, and I wake up after dreams of horrible deaths and other fun things. Just now, while I was waiting for my appointment I thought something: “I’m okay now. I will be okay when I walk out. Test results don’t influence how I feel right now.” I took a deep breath and felt instantly better. I felt relieved when I had my tests and heard the results. What I didn’t do was fear. I chatted with my doctors with a smile on my face, knowing nothing would break me. I was doing okay.