pregnancy week 17

Current stage of pregnancy: week 17 GA; week 15 FA; 30 (!) cigarettes since the beginning of pregnancy I think I'll be happy to read back on how I felt, so it's time for journaling. I'm 17 weeks in. I got back at smoking again, I feel ashamed. I tried to stop so many times. I smoke one (1) cig everyday while crying because I don't want to. I woudn't smoke to my baby's face, why would I smoke in their bloodstream then? I want to quit smoking. I need to, I think I'm done. I'm done. I've said that a million times before. The new thing is my husband agreed to quit too, maybe it'll help. We need to get rid of cigarette packs, lighters, ashtrays. I need to quit so bad, I feel like I'm a bad parent already. I can't even make myself eat salad because I'm afraid of E. coli. Why would it be okay to ingest carbon monoxide then? Baby's doing great. We have another imaging next week, I can't wait to meet them again. I love this kid so much. I think I begin to feel things in my belly, like a hard…