Journal of a Wanderer

Today is a day to carve into my memory, and what I’m about to write here, I’m going to copy and paste into my Notes app. From the age of 20 to 40, I used drugs daily, sometimes at world-record doses, with roughly three Russians, and pretty much every drug that exists in every country, especially medications developed for Russian cosmonauts. When you start taking powerful drugs, your brain begins to change profoundly and rapidly, and eventually your ability to say no to cravings becomes extremely limited, because, as far as I remember, the part of the brain associated with willpower gets stuck to another part in a way that doesn’t happen to normal people. I walk without music or podcasts. I observe, I think, I solve problems, I let my mind wander. Today, while walking, a series of flashes basically gave me the key to getting out of Hell (I firmly believe that you enter Heaven and Hell as early as earthly life). And when you’re a drug veteran, you only know one shop. Today, I no longer…