unsent letter / confessional

while in some sort of trance rifling through my belongings again i came across a note i had written a ways back. i was moving boxes on a shelf almost out of reach and it floated ever so gently onto the ground in front of me. if inanimate objects could speak, this one would mock me. see, i come across this unsent letter repeatedly at the most inopportune times. i've held onto it for a number of years, not able to deliver it to the recipient nor dispose of it myself, so i tuck it into books, folders, boxes, out of sight until the next time i'm in a state poor enough to tear my home down to its atoms. i read through it and cringe at my own feelings and assumptions and projections. i wonder why i would admit these dramatically floral feelings to someone i met less than a month prior. i laugh at myself in retrospect knowing i'm still the same obsessive freak ive always been. so - in an effort to exorcise this haunting moment i thought it'd be nice to post it here and show a little humility…