What Does the Cat Say?

If pets could talk. As a cat owner, I have given this some thought. Not in a philosophical, “What wisdom might the animal kingdom impart upon us?” kind of way, but more in a “What the hell is going on inside that furry little head?” kind of way. Because I have a cat named Luffy, and sometimes I look at him and genuinely wonder if there is anything happening in there at all. Are there thoughts? Is there a tiny little cat sitting behind his eyes pulling levers? Or is it just static and the faint sound of bowling alley music? For years, I assumed that if Luffy suddenly developed the ability to speak, it would be a beautiful moment. I’d finally get answers. I’d know what he was thinking. I’d know whether he loved me. I’d understand why he sits in the middle of the hallway and stares at nothing for twenty minutes. Maybe he sees something I can’t see. Maybe he’s communicating with another dimension. Maybe he just forgot why he walked into the hallway. Honestly, any of those seem possible. I…