What the Dinosaurs Tell Their Children About the Earth’s Destruction

A Bedtime StoryThe beginning of the end starts when an infant Saurolophus squishes some nameless prehistoric fish, and for the first time, a dinosaur cries.Worse, the crying turns the Saurolophus into a Kaiju, and each time a Triceratops blinks the Saurolophus is larger, and larger, and larger, until the Pterodactyls circle him like a mountain.And of course, the infant Saurolophus is still crying, because a Saurolophus should never be so big, and his tears are so heavy, they drown half the world.And of course, after losing half the world, the Kaiju Saurolophus throws a tantrum. (And of course, dear dinosaur children, that’s the true story about the asteroids, because if the universe were just slinging asteroids, dinosaurs would have gone to space, because of course they were smart enough to go to space.)And yes, yes, we could spend all night debating how long the tantrum of a Kaiju-Saurolophus took to destroy most of the world, but let’s just say seven days and seven nights (because…