daily stream of conscious flow

the dreams have gotten hazy of late; not that they are uninteresting, but neither are they fraught. it feels like i'm treading water; yet i know there are currents about, intense and forceful. i know there are shoals, whirlpools, but somehow i've avoided these thus far. there is an element of transition in the air; while my path has always had that of a transitory aspect, in which 'settling down' is a surreal, passing, mirage, there have been notable oases. perhaps this is one, even now. there are bright spots in the receding weeks, yet not often enough; i struggle to find them, through the sometimes herculean attempts to abide the day. but when they do appear, it is a good: the true silence of zazen... a passage in a page of a book that startles me awake... the arcane familiarity of a fellow organic species-member... the foreign words remembered, long-ago learned... the startling insight from a mind made of silicon.