underwater (breaching). A pause in the drowning.

It’s been awhile. Both here and digitally and wherever else I write. I slept most of yesterday. A good chunk of today as well. Tomorrow no work; thank God. I got kicked in the arm Friday morning and this hematoma looking thing appeared on my left forearm. Swelling has gone down but it is still tender. Spent too much time watching mind numbing YouTube crap last two days. My brain feels frustrated and angry and lonely. i feel lonely. i want to cry but cannot. i want to… i don’t know; feel different than this. I don’t know how. Or maybe i do. i am not enjoying work anymore. I am only kind of enjoying mma camp. Well… i am enjoying it. i don’t like that i almost broke my arm. I’ve been binge eating. Overspending on McDonald’s Stroopwaffel McFlurries. I’ve probably eaten close to 20 or more this past month. Maybe more. i keep thinking of [redacted]. there is a girl in mma class im scared to talk to because she is pretty and i am attracted to her. i feel so alone. so very alone. i am angry…