The Aftermath

I love my friends and I love my life. In general, I have a lot to be thankful of. That's why, no matter how many times I have experienced it and how long I have been aware of it and how much I brace for the impact, it's never not jarring that following a wonderful weekend packed with cool people and fun activities which I absolutely enjoyed, I would be drained to the bones the moment the last person leave. Not wanting to see a soul for a while is fine. What I don't like is the wave of deep-seated yet unreasonable resentment and anger that would follow, undiscernible, indescribable. Voices telling me I've been too loud, too gregarious, too annoying, too overbearing. Voices telling me that I'm a disappointment and a failure. Everything would feel too much. Overwhelming urge to cry, which then would well behind eyes that don't know how to. It would eventually wash away, but in the meantime it has always been rough. My true blessing in life is a constellation of good friends. They know…