on and on

another familiar summer overcast skies and droning cicadas a heavy emptiness in my chest love and loss and loss and loss i saw god the other day by the river on a rainy afternoon so ill hold on as tightly as i can to a shaking facade of normalcy taking comfort in things getting bad again nostalgia is a stupid indulgence feels like time travel chasing one of the only feelings i know its a god that only i can see a loss of control reclaimed with crimson love that makes your stomach turn is this ok? tell me its okay the things i desire slip through my fingers because i allow them to the breeze is cool at night power lines dissect the greys and blues the moon is a halo and i feel so so small