The Brave and the Hungry

The bravest thing I’ve ever done when no one was watching was order food over the phone. I know. Some of you are probably sitting there thinking, Really? Yes. Really. And before you start comparing this to things like running into burning buildings or skydiving or giving birth without an epidural, let me remind you that bravery is relative. I don’t order food over the phone anymore. Ever. I order through an app like a civilized person living in the 21st century. The advent of take-out apps as a routine thing was the greatest day of my introverted life. I can look at the menu for as long as I want. I can add something to my order, remove it, put it back, remove it again, and then decide that I never wanted it in the first place. All without explaining myself or my choices to anyone at all. Most importantly, nobody is waiting for me. I mean, I’m perfectly capable of making decisions. I just prefer to make them privately, at my own pace, with the option of changing my mind approximately…