I Don’t Have a Smartphone

Ploum: “I don’t have a smartphone,” is what I tell people and professionals nowadays. This allows me to cut the crap about companies insisting that I install their app or restaurants wishing that I scan a QR code to access their menu on a small screen. “I don’t have a smartphone” is, according to my experience, the easiest explanation, the shortest way to force people to get their shit together and take the required actions to allow me to live without being glued to a small screen dependent on a huge American megacorporation. I think I might start using this more myself even if it is untrue. With apologies to Herman Melville, the world we’re in seems to ignore polite refusal way too often. There have been countless times that I’ve been nudged to download an app or join a loyalty program and a simple refusal leads to follow-up questions. I still don’t want to make someone’s day worse by being a jerk or overly aggressive, but I’m a little tired of having to explain myself—being…