re: thinking about friendships

sourcethis is exactly the kind of thing im awful at and im glad im ironically not aloneand i know im not like a "big" blogger or wtv like the other people replying but likei also kinda struggle with this to anyone whos like reading thisi was completely alone most of my life, i may have had a "friend" for a week or so occasionallybut it never ever went anywherei also didnt end up doing anything besides occasional small programming projectsthere was like a lot of built up learned helplessness and stuff about how i couldntmake friends and that im not the kind of person who could make stuff that matteredhighschool Was different though because it was so tiny that i actually did manage tosorta learn people a bit more, but at that point the damage was already done and stuffand i just could not talk to people that well and never got included in group stuff outside of schooland they never even bothered to keep in contact after graduationthe part about relying on people that dont have to rely…