Human slop

This is gonna sound bitter, but hey. I take my whisky neat. Why has it become a thing that people must use social media to give commencement speeches about every · fucking · thing in their life? To be clear, I have nothing against you soaring through your personal growth in a permanent state of child-like wonder like the absolute Peter Pan you are, learning profound wisdoms from every new shape of eye floater you’ve rubbed into your retina. Be you, king. But holy hell, why has it become the rite of passage for every clown promoting something to share daily life lessons on social media? A daily, unstoppable firehose of something that should by definition… take a while. I pooped today. Time to post a commencement speech on LinkedIn about prolonged gratitude, the importance of self-care, and the lessons learned from the humble act of defecation. You live a mindful life full of meditative, self-reflective bragging in public. You are followed by young hustle porn fiends thinking mistakenly…