Pop’n Tanks: Happy chaos

Nobody would normally describe armoured vehicles stuffed with bullets as cuddly-cute, but it’s the only honest term for the tanks found within the Enix-published arena fighter Pop’n Tanks. They really are cute. I want tiny resin models and plushie versions of all of them. They have the same stocky, elastic quality as Metal Slug‘s titular vehicle and Dominion‘s Bonaparte, meaning even the most ordinary, minor action always involves a lot of exaggerated bouncing, bending, and leaning. They look so energetic it’s exhausting just watching them move around, never mind taking part myself. But taking part is of course an unavoidable part of the experience, the timed best-of-three matches within inviting me to at least have a little go, even if I don’t plan on staying for long. These bouts—either against the CPU or a friend—take place in enclosed, Virtual On style battlefields, encompassing anything from spooky caves to lava-filled locales and charming villages. Their shapes vary wildly but…