Forced To LARP The Worst Board Game Ever

Imagine that you are sitting down to play Monopoly with your new acquaintances Mary, Michael, and Matthew. I don’t know why you are wanting to play Monopoly; the game was designed to show how awful capitalism is, and the revamps have done little to remove that quality. Maybe that’s why Mary makes a suggestion: “Because so many people have house rules for Monopoly, let’s only allow house rules that a majority of us agree on.” That sounds reasonable, so you all agree and start selecting what piece you want to use. At least, it sounds reasonable until Matthew starts handing out extra money to himself, Mary, and Michael. “It’s a house rule,” he explains, “where you get double the cash if your first name begins with a M and has an A in it.” The other two nod vigorously. Maybe that rule includes you too, but the next one from Michael doesn’t. “If you’ve been friends with Mary’s parents for more than a month, you get to go twice in a row.” He doesn’t even look sheepish as Mary and Matthew…