In Purgatory Everyone Likes Crepes: My Time at a Greek All-Inclusive

I can’t remember the last time I was actually hot. It’s a thought that keeps looping through my head as I stand next to a children’s play structure in a Greek all-inclusive waterpark. The sun is beating down on an international community of mostly parents drinking watered-down cocktails out of plastic cups while their children scream and run in circles. Surrounding this little paddock of plastic is a lazy river, filled with mothers and fathers staring blankly into the middle distance as they slowly orbit the water toys. It’s all concrete and aggressively bright primary colors, suffused with the smell of gyros being cooked by a Filipino staff behind me.Living in Denmark, it’s rare for the sun to shine directly on you. Typically, everything outside looks like it has a blue filter placed over the lens—like how TV shows put a yellow filter over the camera to establish that you are now in Mexico. Sometimes in Copenhagen you might get hot, but then it will immediately start to hail on you,…