Just Clowning Around

Hey, remember when clowns were funny, endearing creatures that delighted young children with their crazy antics and playful innocence?Yeah, me neither. "I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL." Believe it or not, I used to BE a clown. I'm talking face paint, balloon animals - the works. I realize that automatically makes me creepy and terrifying, but as a five-foot-tall, pigtail-wearing geek girl, I'm actually Ok with that. "FEAR ME!!""Oh, and could you grab the Cheerios off the top shelf? I can't reach." You're probably wondering how children reacted to me as a clown, since everyone knows clowns only exist to obtain your internal organs in as bloody a method as possible - which they will then juggle in front of you, cackling, while an out-of-tune calliope churns slowly in the background and you're surrounded by fun house mirrors and porcelain dolls with empty eye sockets who somehow seem to be getting closer... and closer... Sorry, where was I?Oh, right. The kids.To be honest, I spent my clowning days…