Walking Through Molasses

The past few days have felt HEAVY. I'm consistently pushing myself to keep going, but lately it feels like I'm walking through molasses. I continue to float aimlessly, moving forward without really knowing where I'm going. Most of the time, I probably seem okay from the outside. Underneath it all, I'm struggling in ways that aren't always visible. I recently saw a quote that deeply resonated with me: When people ask me what I've been up to, I don't know how to tell them that I'm in the deepest sadness of my life, fighting to understand an existence without my soul dog, so instead I just say "not much." I truly am trying to understand what an existence without Cocoa is supposed to look like. It's been 26 days. I don't know how else to explain it. I know I've written multiple blog posts about it, talked about it, cried about it, and yet, I'm still just as lost as I was on that first day. So when people ask me how I am, I just say: "Fine, just surviving." I honestly really have no idea…