she's back

Just posting to exercise my brain a little bit. I don't wan't to title this post "pregnancy week 13" because I don't want to find it again anytime soon. There's a time in pregnancy when you blood volume raises to carry more oxygen (because baby needs it too). Well, this time is now, and and all this new blood dilutes my meds. Guess who's back? Borderline personality disorder. This bitch has been muted for 5+ years but she's back and ready to break some knees. I've been having devastating anger, depression and manic hyperfixations. All of it, everyday. I don't want to call my therapist back cause I've been telling myself that next time we'll meet I'll have a big baby bump. My next appointment is in 1.5 month, maybe I'll be able to swing it. At least the ups are really fun. I'll try harm reduction for now, let's see if we can ride BPD. On my program: no sleep deprivation, seeing friends regularly, journaling to make sure I feel ok, no yelling at people. I used to yell a lot at the…