My Swan Song

Spending a weekend with your boyfriend’s parents is remarkably emotion packed as well as insightful. My heart is swinging like a pendulum from feelings of gratitude to frustration that my own family dynamics will never look or feel like this. Jealousy? No. Is this grief clutching to a dream? That seems more like it.Yet here I am, trying with very little energy to put my best foot forward on this tightrope, at times questioning why I should even try.And that’s when I look at my own parents’ example of love to empower me. My own parents’ conditional love burns hot inside of me, I dare say it fuels hatred inside. It transforms into a rage propelling fearless energy to protect my heart and soul. That power at its core is born from and owned by authenticity screaming and breaking free, hungry for what the world deprived it of, and preserving my sanity itself. It gives me a constant reminder that molding myself into something I’m not will accomplish nothing more than grief.I am what I am.…